What is an Unhealthy Church
Welcome to the new Finding Freedom series on Divide The Word! Much of this blog and ministry is dedicated to supporting individuals who have left unhealthy church environments.
Because of that, we receive frequent requests about how to leave an unhealthy church. What kind of church to attend afterward? Should I talk to the Pastor and announce my departure? What IS an unhealthy church? So to start the Finding Freedom series, which will cover all of these topics and more, we will start by helping to define: What is a Unhealthy Church.
What is a Unhealthy Church
When I left an Apostolic/Oneness Pentecostal church, I didn’t know the term Spiritual Abuse. I didn’t know about other churches, church structures, or church management. All I knew was that something was terribly wrong. As I began to read books, and blogs, watch YouTube videos, and discover Social Media groups, I began to understand that what I had been part of was extremely unhealthy. Even Cultic.
Additionally, people were shocked when I shared my story or examples of my past with people. Others had no way of understanding what I was explaining. I had been told I was a member of a Cult, but I adamantly defended that I was not.
After leaving my unhealthy church, I read books like Toxic Faith by Arterburn & Felton, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by Johnson Van Vonderen, and Kingdom of the Cults by Walter Martin. What was discovered was eye-opening! I wasn’t alone. And, this was a serious concern in the Kingdom. This issue of power and control existed in many other Christian denominations, not just the Apostolic Pentecostal world I had been part of.
After nearly a decade of studying, counseling, and writing, here are my top 5 definitions of an unhealthy church.
#1 Asking Questions is Frowned Upon
According to Dr. Steven Hassan, author of Combatting Cult Mind Control and a cultist alumni himself, the BITE model is a key indicator of unhealthy manipulation and control. BITE stands for Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotion control. Any system that controls those four attributes of an individual is authoritarian and cultic.
Furthermore, these systems hate being challenged, which comes from being questioned. The pastor of my former cultic church was prone to saying things like “I don’t have time for people who ask questions.”, or, “I am ok with you asking questions so long as you accept my answers.”
They equate questions to rebellion. An unhealthy church shuns being questioned. They expect obedience without thought. Worse, differences in Biblical understandings are intolerable, even when those differences are on very minor concepts.
If your church is intolerant to questioning or differences of thought, it is unhealthy.
#2 Heavy Focus on Extra-Biblical Positions
Nearly every church has traditions and practices that are not biblical. Most of the time these are quite innocent. As an example, nearly every church I’ve attended has a very defined order of service. They may sing 2-3 songs, mix in an offerings request and announcements, and then proceed into the homily or sermon. And, most will sing another song before dismissing the congregation.
While this is not a Biblical precedent, there is nothing to say there is any error in this. Where this does go is when churches hyper-focus on extra-biblical practices and equate obedience to them with obedience to God. As a child, I visited a Church of Christ denominational church that did not allow the use of Musical Instruments, at home or in Church. Their stance is that God does not authorize the use of mechanical instruments of music. They are a capela only.
Many denominations go much further than this. As an ex-Apostolic Pentecostal, we had dozens of non-biblical stances that were considered holiness, and they often quote Hebrews 12:14 to say, ‘without our holiness standards you will not make heaven’. Churches may have extra Biblica practices, but if they hyper-focus on them and equate them to a commandment of God, they are unhealthy. (Mark 7:7)
#3 A Low View of Scripture
Every church and denomination claims to be grounded in the Bible. Their articles of faith will include many links and references to passages. However, what they do with those scriptures is more telling.
For instance, Christian teaching that is topical or thematic will often have a low priority on interpreting scripture. Rather, passages are found to support a bias or belief and these are taught on exclusively. Whole portions of the Bible may be ignored or purposefully taught against.
The majority of my experience was that the preaching or teaching would include reading a single passage to set the ‘theme’, and then stories and opinions would follow. Indeed, the education I received explicitly taught that a Christian cannot find salvation doctrine in the books from Romans to Revelation. Only the Book of Acts dealt with salvational doctrine.
Additionally, these churches will often say things that are completely contrary to Scripture. Attendees usually won’t catch this because they are consistently underfed. They are themselves not sure what Scripture teaches.
#4 Unusual Fixation on Finances
There are whole denominations built on prosperity, primarily the Charismatic/Pentecostal world. However, that doesn’t necessarily make them malevolent. Where things turn manipulative is when church systems and church leaders demand money from the congregation to fuel their lifestyle.
Interestingly, the early church, as seen in the Didache, was against men who came calling for your money. In Chapter 11, titled Concerning Teachers, Apostles, and Prophets, it states, “And if he asks for money, he is a false prophet.” Today, false teachers often request that you ‘sow a seed’ into their ministry, claiming that if you do, you’ll also receive financial rewards.
Furthermore, there are church systems that require members to show their tax returns to ensure they are paying enough in tithes and offerings. If you attend a church that makes such demands, it is unhealthy and you should flee from it.
#5 Leader-Personality Worship
This is one of the most obvious signs of an unhealthy church, but I saved it for last intentionally. You can experience a church where the people honestly revere the pastor or leadership, but this doesn’t necessarily make it unhealthy. That leader may be very sacrificial, very honest, humble, and even charismatic.
However, what can make a church extremely unhealthy is when the people worship the pastor. When they believe they need that individual to find God, they are deceived. When they believe that this individual has a special connection to God that no one else has, they are being manipulated. And, when they believe that this leader is above failure, they are blind.
I’ll never forget a service where the #2 man in the church was teaching obedience. (This will be a consistent theme in unhealthy and out-of-balance churches) What is important is to consider unto what or whom we are to be obedient to. In this service, the teacher pumped his fist in the air and said, “If you come against my man of God you’ll get the five-folded ministry!” Unhealthy churches will continue to reinforce obedience to man and rarely teach obedience to God alone.
This is the most dangerous sign of an unhealthy church. Jim Jones was able to convince mothers and fathers to poison their own children in the largest recorded mass suicide in modern history. How? By years of teaching blind obedience to the man of God. David Koresh convinced dozens of husbands to relinquish their wives and daughters to him. How? By years of teaching he alone heard from God and what he said was indeed what God was saying.
Conclusion
There is no question we could add to this list. We could expound on each topic further. What really matters here is that we have a baseline. Something to say whether or not we exist in an unhealthy church.
I would say that if you exist in a church that exhibits #5 and/or #4, it is a guarantee that you are in an unhealthy church. The previous three positions will almost always be part of that church system. We will deal with the question, Should I leave an Unhealthy Church in the next article. But there is a spoiler here: If your church exhibits these signs, you should absolutely leave. The next article will discuss when, and how, to make sure you leave effectively with your spiritual, emotional/mental, and physical health intact.
