Do you have a question? Perhaps something you are afraid to ask your Pastor, or Parents, or your friends, or God?
You should never be afraid to ask a question, for there are no bad questions. And, you should never be afraid to ask your Pastor, or Parents, and especially God. But I am human too, and I have been afraid to ask questions of those people, and even God before.
I used to believe the only bad question was the question you knew the answer to. But, what if you just needed reassurance? What if you think you know the answer but are second guessing yourself?
The Bible holds the answers, I believe, to all of the mysteries of life. Please, ask your questions below, anonymously and we will provide answers using the Word of God that we feel addresses your question. All you have to do, is ASK?
DivideTheWord.blog is not a licensed counselor nor can we provide legal advice. We simply seek to use God’s Word to help navigate this journey we call Life. It can be daunting, confusing, strange, and rewarding. God provided us a manual for the challenges, it is up to you to navigate the map of life.
I left the Pentecostals church a few months back. The mental abuse was unreal that I experienced there…..my situation is even harder because my husband and his entire family still go to an apostolic church. I am treated like a backslider, sinner going straight to hell because I have attended other churches and have cut my hair and wear pants now. They tell me how disappointed they are and my own husband tells me…I prayed for an apostolic women and now you are not apostolic….. How can I heal from all of this. How can I handle the…..disapproving looks and comments….I had a women see me at a thrift store I was in…..I saw here when I drove away peaking out the the window stairing at me….then posted on facebook it broke her heart to see me there but I was just a friend for a season and how she will just pray for me……oh and this was the pastor’s wife. The abuse I have faced always seems so hard to deal with at times….
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How sorry I am that you have to go through this! In my fifteen years in an abusive, Apostolic Pentecostal church I have seen this scenario play out dozens, if not hundreds of times. With friends, and even my own family.
It is this very scenario that proves it to be a false church, or else they would not be so harsh and judgmental. Consider, that our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, never once condemned, judged or ridiculed anyone, EXCEPT the Pharisees, which were the judgmental rules and authorities that declared ‘Unless you dress and pray like us, you are less than us.’
When the women caught in adultery was brought before Jesus, we can marvel at his compassion and understanding, and most importantly, His forgiveness, something those who are shaming you need to study well.
Joh 8:10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
Joh 8:11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
Neither do I condemn you! Here, Jesus offered no condemnation to a women caught in the most immoral sin, and yet modern day Legalists, and Pharisees (Apostolic Preachers in this case) will ridicule, condemn and judge you for your clothing, or your hair, or whether or not you attend their church. Likewise, those who follow that man will also condemn you, because their duty is to follow, imitate and obey their man of God. If they don’t, they too would be cannibalized, just as you are being eaten by their hate.
The best way to deal with the judgmental ways, and this will not make it easier, is to realize with compassion that they are only behaving in the ways they have been taught to, and are pressured internally to maintain that behavior, lest they too be considered a ‘compromiser’ or ‘backslider’ for harboring you.
There are two types of people that leave abusive religion. The first, are those who merely rebel and reject control because they want to enjoy the pleasures of things restricted to them. These generally will fall into harder times, because the flood gates are opened up to them.
The other type, the type I prayed to be, was one who saw the reality of how bad the situation was, and prayed and did all I could to make sure my pendulum did not swing so far the opposite direction, that I would prove to those who ridicule me they are right. In other words, if you keep yourself with a right attitude, and show them that you haven’t turned into the adulteress dunk they think you will, then that light will open (possibly) their eyes to the reality that perhaps their way of thinking isn’t all correct.
For instance, after I left the abusive church I was in, my son moved out of my home, at the recommendation of the pastor, and was willing to cut me off. Over time however, he began to realize the things I was saying (refuting legalism) was right, because I simply stood on Scripture, and that I didn’t turn into the crazy person they proclaim you will be. Rememeber their stories, how if you leave ‘Truth’ you’ll become seven times worse than when you came into ‘Truth’. It’s rubbish, and my son saw the fallacy of it. Now, he has left that church and is learning to find what God wants for him the correct way, by seeking God rather than seeking to please and obey the man, the pastor.
I pray so much strength upon you, that in your hours, months, even years of turmoil, you’ll realize the grace of God and turn to him for peace! Let me leave you with a few scriptures to meditate on and I am always open to you personally, for prayer and for support. I would also recommend you connect up with http://www.spiritualabuse.org, on their website, and on Facebook. It is a great support for us Ex-Pentecostals.
Rom 14:13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.
Rom 14:22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.
Gal 5:1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
Gal 5:2 Behold, I Paul say unto you, that if ye be circumcised, Christ shall profit you nothing.
Gal 5:3 For I testify again to every man that is circumcised, that he is a debtor to do the whole law.
Gal 5:4 Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace.
Gal 5:14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Gal 5:15 But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.
I have a question concerning calvanism. What is a calvanism and what do they believe? I have looked it up and information is overwhelming and I so not fully understand their thoughts on presentstion and salvation. The reason I’m asking is, we came out of a UPC church and have settled in a non-denominational church that we love. There is so much love and the teaching and preaching has been so great. I was informed last night that there are those in leadership, including the Pastor that believes in calvanism. I’ve never heard nothing said about it and the goapel is always presented as Jesus died for all. I lost sleep over it and I’m deeply disturbed and scared. I’ve ever battled with the old thought processes of “I’ve walked away from truth and now we open to kinds of winds of doctrine”. Our kids love the church and are involoved so I want to remain quiet and discreet about this information and I do not want to over react. All I’ve know for 45 years is UPC beliefs and I was beginning to feel such a freedom. I was hoping you could help shed some light on the subject of calvanism. My hope are.that it’s all a misunderstanding.
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Calvinism is an interesting theology structure. John Calvin (circa 1500s) is considered a father of the Reformation. Where Martin Luther wanted to change some things about the Roman Catholic church and started the Reformation (he remained mostly Catholic), Calvin completely scrapped the ideas and theologies of the Roman Catholic church and started over with a clean slate.
In a nutshell, original Calvinism (I’ve heard it said most people who claim Calvinism didn’t study John Calvin and aren’t entirely lined up to the original theology) has five basic principles, who’s acronym is TULAP, those being:
Total Depravity (humans are incapable of doing good)
Unconditional Election (God predestines some to be saved, nothing you can do to become saved)
Limited Atonement (While Jesus died for all, the effect was only for the predestined, think the 144,000 that Jehovah’s Witness teach who are the only people who will be saved)
Irresistible Grace (If you are predestined to be an Elect, you cannot resist grace, you have no free will to accept grace, or deny grace)
Perseverance of the Saints (The Elect will be kept by God’s sovereignty, you will be incapable of sinning and thus preserved by God)
I cannot see adequate support for this in Scripture – there are too many places where the Bible declares the way in which we are justified – that Salvation comes by Faith in Christ and that there WILL be those who fall away from Grace. (Galatians 5:4)
I hope that makes sense, in a nut shell. It is a big topic and too big for a small reply, but overall, they believe you can’t be saved, God chose long ago who would be saved – it’s already settled. No amount of faith, prayer, obedience, etc can cause you to be saved. You do not have free will – if God chose you to be saved all of your actions are predestined to ensure you cannot sin.
Thank you for the reply. I certainly can’t agree with that theology because Christ died for all and salvation is for whosoever will. We do have a free will and certainly the ability to choose who we will serve. Thanks again.
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There are so many typing errors in my first comment because I was typing in a hurry so I wanted to clarify that it’s predestination and salvation for the elect that confuses me about Calvanism.